had an epiphany last night driving home.....about relationships and what I want out of one.....
I want to be "enough" for someone....but not "everything" to someone......
I don't want the responsibility of being their morning and their nighttime and everything in between...I don't want all their joys or all their sadness to come from me.....
but I would like to be enough for someone just as I am...without having to change or be MORE than I am now.....
more this afternooon after a day of subbing at the school
Monday, September 20, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
exercise from Be Inspired
STRUCTURED TIMED EXERCISE FROM A WONDERFUL WORKSHOP “Be Inspired: Create Something Every Day” by Maria Gatling at Austin Details Gallery on August 31, 2010
Task: write a mini-saga about your life where you are right now. You can include how you got here or where you are going or something important about right now. Like all stories, include a beginning, a middle and an end.
My Essay:
As Pomp and Circumstance echoed through the stadium and tears filled the eyes of excited parents, my brain began morphing. Structures of classrooms, ideas about teaching, dwindling passion for understanding challenging brains began marching off into compartments. The sides folded up into boxes as each one was filled. The flaps criss crossed and closed on top. Gingerly and lovingly I clicked the switch securing them into their new home. The toy boxes and playgrounds in my mind were released and mayhem ensued. Now, daily, I seek to create islands of creative order surrounded by flagrant colors, ideas and directions of creative chaos.
Task: write a mini-saga about your life where you are right now. You can include how you got here or where you are going or something important about right now. Like all stories, include a beginning, a middle and an end.
My Essay:
As Pomp and Circumstance echoed through the stadium and tears filled the eyes of excited parents, my brain began morphing. Structures of classrooms, ideas about teaching, dwindling passion for understanding challenging brains began marching off into compartments. The sides folded up into boxes as each one was filled. The flaps criss crossed and closed on top. Gingerly and lovingly I clicked the switch securing them into their new home. The toy boxes and playgrounds in my mind were released and mayhem ensued. Now, daily, I seek to create islands of creative order surrounded by flagrant colors, ideas and directions of creative chaos.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
chairs I took to Surfside
The Surfside Sunset sold to a man who was going to put it in a an auction for the Fire Department I think. The Surfside with the bird is put aside for a new friend who could not be in Surfside that weekend. I gave Kitty her chair because of her generosity and letting me sell chairs there at her party. She is a wonderful lady and I am glad to have met her. Eric (the man behind the Surfside FB page) was there and he was a wonderful tour guide, conversationalist and motivator !At first I was a little disappointed that I did not make a good haul ..lol...but then I remembered that I enjoyed making them, I learned alot from this trip...and now I have an inventory....AND...I was at Surfside!! So I left happy....esp knowing that I have a place in Surfside now....I feel comfortable going by myself, staying by myself and enjoying being in touch with that me....I did not feel a sense of sadness or desperation because I know I can come back at any time. It felt good!....even the sunburn on my back feels good...
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
sunflower chairs
made these chairs for a friend of mine.....I always thought sunflowers were easy...but actually can be kinda complicated when you go for angles.....which of course I did....I guess I could have gone straight on.....may just have to make another for her to choose from....now I just need to learn to sew so I can make little pillows to sit in the corner of the chairs....tired now....reunion this weekend.....I wish I could be content with the way I have changed and aged....I wish I could embrace each day with the positiveness that Deb Taylor does......then the following weekend I am planning to go to Surfside so I am making some chairs to take along.....and am on a liquid diet until then...lol.....and...I would love to go shout for the Watts Brother's band on Monday nite at the Mohawk in Austin....great guys from Smithville have a chance to be one of the bands at the Bash at the Brewery in SA.....will try to reserve some energy for Monday nite.....come on vitamins...kick in!!
Just watched Temple Grandin on HBO. It is a movie about an autistic woman who has acquired a BS, MA and PhD in Animal Husbandry.....she is a phenomenal woman. She offers her terrific insight into the world of a person who has autism. I want to take this opportunity to take my hat off to my collegues who continue to work in special education. I have done it all my life and seem to have no more reserves to share. The job is immense.
To be a good sped teacher, one has to assemble all the important knowledge in their head. They have to learn about sensori motor integretion- SMI(how the senses work and integrate into the structure and function of the mind). They have to learn all about how children develop, the "normal" or average way and then the development that may have become skewed through poor SMI or brain damage or some other hinderance to development that may contribute to developing some other way than "normal". They have to learn how to task analyze any and every task, activity, skill or event and break it down into manageable segments. They have to learn the scope and sequence of any subject area attempting to be taught.
Then comes the most important areas for sped teachers.... They must then assemble the puzzle of each individual child. How do they learn best, what do they already know, what skills do they have that you can build on, what motivates them, what hinders their learning and performance, what is important about each subject to THIS child, how is their sensory system organized....on and on....THEN they attempt to get inside that child's head and experience how that child learns. This gives insight into how, what, where and who needs to be taught what.
A side effect of obtaining this insight is an emotional connection to the person and the disability. It becomes a part of us. So not only do we carry who we are personally (and struggle to continue to figure that out as we go) but we also carry the emotional stressors, highs and lows and complexities of the students we teach and their disability as it effects that student. Over the years there are many personal experiences that we keep inside us. This collection in itself can be a valuable tool for a master teacher. It helps us put together each and every puzzle of a learner that comes through our door. It helps us connect and plug in what the student needs at that time in a manner that they can obtain and use a skill or a concept.
But what I have not noticed until I am without the need to put myself in their shoes (retirement), is that I carry EACH emotional experience with me..... The stuggles that the child has, the frustrations that they have, the peer pressure and the individual struggle to discover and value who they are. When I watched the Temple Grandin story, it was an emotional release for me in that she was speaking for all those students that I have been carrying with me....all their frustrations...all their insights.....their lost opportunities ...and the doors that did and did not open for them.....thank you Temple.
To be a good sped teacher, one has to assemble all the important knowledge in their head. They have to learn about sensori motor integretion- SMI(how the senses work and integrate into the structure and function of the mind). They have to learn all about how children develop, the "normal" or average way and then the development that may have become skewed through poor SMI or brain damage or some other hinderance to development that may contribute to developing some other way than "normal". They have to learn how to task analyze any and every task, activity, skill or event and break it down into manageable segments. They have to learn the scope and sequence of any subject area attempting to be taught.
Then comes the most important areas for sped teachers.... They must then assemble the puzzle of each individual child. How do they learn best, what do they already know, what skills do they have that you can build on, what motivates them, what hinders their learning and performance, what is important about each subject to THIS child, how is their sensory system organized....on and on....THEN they attempt to get inside that child's head and experience how that child learns. This gives insight into how, what, where and who needs to be taught what.
A side effect of obtaining this insight is an emotional connection to the person and the disability. It becomes a part of us. So not only do we carry who we are personally (and struggle to continue to figure that out as we go) but we also carry the emotional stressors, highs and lows and complexities of the students we teach and their disability as it effects that student. Over the years there are many personal experiences that we keep inside us. This collection in itself can be a valuable tool for a master teacher. It helps us put together each and every puzzle of a learner that comes through our door. It helps us connect and plug in what the student needs at that time in a manner that they can obtain and use a skill or a concept.
But what I have not noticed until I am without the need to put myself in their shoes (retirement), is that I carry EACH emotional experience with me..... The stuggles that the child has, the frustrations that they have, the peer pressure and the individual struggle to discover and value who they are. When I watched the Temple Grandin story, it was an emotional release for me in that she was speaking for all those students that I have been carrying with me....all their frustrations...all their insights.....their lost opportunities ...and the doors that did and did not open for them.....thank you Temple.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Saturday Haiku
Saturday Haiku...help!
I need to learn how
to reframe a rejection
to pass through a door....
I need to learn how
to reframe a rejection
to pass through a door....
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