bonds

A few days ago I was talking to a friend about a friendship I was struggling with. She pointed out that commitment was not something in the other person's vocabulary. I shuddered…I certainly did not want a commitment. But what exactly did I want? I struggled to define what I was talking about. I toyed with several terms but none could capture the feeling I wanted to convey. Then somewhere during the day the word “bond” came to mind. I did not want a commitment. I wanted a bond….a connection…

According to various dictionary sites online :
Commitment means to show loyalty, duty or pledge to something or someone.
A bond is a connection between two people because of love or friendship

To me a commitment is a conscious decision to choose one thing over another. A bond is something that happens because of common interests, common emotions, common values OR a deep appreciation of independent interests, emotions and/or values.

I believe a bond can happen subconsciously on a noncommittal level. The connection between two people can be strong and healthy without a pledge to loyalty or duty. I guess subconsciously I see a commitment as a loss and a gain, while a bond is all gain. A bond is flexible and has no limits or constraints. It is just a warm, fuzzy, comfortable feeling that extends to just about any situation and it makes both parties feel appreciated, valued and cared about. It is something that both share and is integrated into their individual, independent being….and you do not have to be present to win…lol…